Steve’s Student Blog

Misery Moo

The trains used to be miserable. As miserable as mole removal. Do you remember? The only thing worse than getting the train by foot was getting the train with a bike. It was a debacle that I used to endure every single week. Every week on the way to London, the same old battle…

If you were a pedestrian then you were treated like a human being. If you had a bicycle with you, however, you were treated as though you were carrying a dangerous disease which had to be treated with the up-most care. The only thing missing were nuclear suits.

The routine was rubbish and it went like this, without fail, every single time. I would arrive at the station with my bike and make it to the platform without any problems. Then a guard (or two) would look at me oddly, like in a horror film. At that point a guard would approach me silently from my blind-spot, scaring the hell out of me, and say something like “you taking a bike on the train?”

I’d say, “what does it look like?” or some such variation.

The train would then arrive. I’d be shepherded towards the bicycle enclosure (always miles away from where I was and with a door that only a wrestler could find easy to open) and put my bike in. Then I would inevitably get trapped, as the door had a habit of locking when shut and couldn’t be opened from the inside–

Every. Single. Week.

What fun!